Why Being Seen Feels Unsafe (And How to Reclaim Your Creative Power)
Welcome to The Wounds of the Zodiac, where we explore the past life aches of the astrological signs, houses, and planets through the lens of Karmic Astrology. This work is meant to help you unearth the shadows, reclaim your power, and become more fully you. I will be leaking my manuscript ‘The Wounds of the Zodiac’ slowly to you as a paid reader, uncut, raw, and unfiltered. I hope my body of work can help you liberate yourself in this life and the next.
Exploring creating art with my husband again the other day, after many months (years) of hiding.
Recently had the pleasure of sitting with two different women, in two very different healing modalities. The one studying a Divination Lineage out of West Africa. The other, a clairvoyant. The timing was, as always, divinely set as I’ve been moving through some sort of body illness the last 6 weeks, deeply hitting my wits end with my health issues over the last 3+ years, and sitting deeper with one question. “Do I give up on my work entirely, as my wounds around visibility have hit an all time high?”
On the surface, it doesn’t seem like these pain points are connected. At least not the visibility and the health crisis, that is. What does being seen in my work — recognized for my work — have to with chronic pain and debilitating unexplained migraines? And yet… what don’t they have in common? The more pain I feel, the less alive I feel, and the less alive I look in my expression. It’s only been the last couple months where I have weeks apart with these spells that I feel any semblance of being myself again, and that subtle call to step out of the shadows again. I’ve been inward for so damn long it seems.
The undercurrents of our lives are always connected, and I have to consistently remind myself of that. This is a holistic system… my body is a holistic system and what I experience internally, I experience externally, and vice versa.
As I sat with the first woman, Stephanie, a long time student under my methodology, a master of the shadow and healing, and a friend we connected with my ancestors. My question was about health and wealth. “I’ve been experiencing “dis-ease” for so long, it feels like forever, help.”
The second session I sat with Kristy, new to my world, though introduced through a trusted long time friend. We met the ancestral imprints, karma, my mother, my father, past lives. Each session unknowingly tangled into the other.
Both sessions took me to a place I should have known we’d be… the pain my fathers line of the family, the unhealed energy of the masculine in my ancestry, the grandfathers, and the heart break of the female line, the grandmothers.
Exploring creating art with my husband again the other day, after many months (years) of hiding.
My visibility wound: The Origin Story
In my session with Kristy, she asked about my relationship to my father. I laughed, and tried to brush it off. I love my father deeply, but our relationship has never made it past the surface. He’s there now. Every Sunday we video chat from 3500kms away but… he doesn’t know me. Doesn’t know my work, what I do in the world, doesn’t know my music, or my writing, or the deep feeling person that I am. He knows the surface smiles, chats about the weather, about a family that doesn’t recognize me as a person, about the puppies were now raising. There’s nothing wrong with this… it’s not to fault him. But it’s a pain point I often laugh off.
She laughed, and said the place we brush off is often the place we need to go.
Don’t I know it. So we went in, and unraveling something I was not expecting to fully understand this morning, after it all began to integrate.
“What is your relationship to your father’s side” she asked.
I hesitate. “They kind of just dropped me.” I say lightly.
“What does that mean, ‘they dropped you’?” She continued.
“They didn’t really have an interest in me, beyond my aunt — who is adopted. The rest never really reached out, stopped calling when I was very young. Forgot I existed.” Interesting, we note, that the adopted one was the one to not forget me.
She looks at the karmic agreements of that line. Not too many, not like the ones on my mothers side, described as being in shackles. She sees it.
“What age did they drop you?” She asks.
“Somewhere between 7 and 9” I say, and she ponders.
It’s right there, she explains. They began to reject me when my ability to see them came on line. When my intuitive and telepathic knowing began to really shine. When my witchiness started showing.
Yes. Felt that in my bones. When rejection became a big part of my story. I don’t remember it before that.
We talk about the rejection because of my power, a story that has repeated over and over in my life, through both sides of the family. One, leaving me abandoned, the other shaming me, judging me, gossiping about me.
Rolled eyes at dinner tables as I shared my big dreams. Scoffs at thanks-giving dinner when my aunt said “Oh, so you’re not perfect?” from across the table after I had mentioned a mistake I’d made — implying I thought that was, in fact, perfect. A projection, I know now.
The whole story unraveled through this session.
In some ways, I was never truly seen my family, and when I was seen I was rejected, abandoned, judged, forgotten — save for my Mother, my sister, and Step Dad (bless them for this.)
I realized I learned very early on that to be seen was to be rejected.
To be seen meant I would be cast out.
To be seen meant I would be ridiculed, judged, slandered, and alone.
Who would want that?
I learned early on that being me was dangerous.
But there was so. much. me to be. Fuck.
So instead of being seen, I shrunk, and too this day the energetic chords that have held me in that shadow have kept me dimming my light.
This pattern repeated throughout my life. Friends never seeing my quiet clearly gossiping behind my back, confirming I was not safe to be myself — until I broke free from that pattern during my first nodal return (yes, with my North Node in Aquarius, and yes, with my South Node in the 11th house).
Interestingly enough the people who usually saw the truth of me were the men I chose. Amazing men who picked me because they saw the unique individual under the surface. Men who craved the wild unconventional side of me who didn’t fit into the typical boxes. Men who I thank to this day for seeing my truth and coaxing me to step more fully into myself. The man I married who celebrates and see me shine more than anyone has in my entire life. I am so grateful to him.
The Imum Colei/Midheaven Connection:
What happens in the root, grows into our legacy. And if wounds in the root are not tended to, they become how we move into the world. If I’ve learned one thing, it’s this, rot in the foundation becomes rot in our ambitions.
Our families and early life becomes our origin story. What we learn inside of those formative years are echoes of the past life wounds that we are carrying into this life. We repeat the pattern, until the pattern can be recognized and changed — often post Saturn return, but sometimes before.
I wondered:
How many lives had I dimmed my light in the fear of being abandoned by my family?
How many lives had I been punished for shining?
How many lives had I abused my power while I stood in the spotlight?
And would I now repeat the same story? Would I shy away from my power when I know I have something so important to share with the world?
Become a paid reader, and read ‘The Wounds of the Zodiac’ on Substack: I’m currently leaking my manuscript on the karmic wounds of the zodiac to my paid subscribers on Substack. This is by far the easiest and most accessible way to work with me right now.
The Ancestors:
I wondered… how many of my ancestors had great talents, tucked away and unused because the were not “logical” or “useful” in a world that celebrates practicality over art, “a long day’s hard work” over creative expression? Both my parents have artistic gifts that they eventually had to “grow up and put to the side.” I can only imagine how many of my ancestors did the same.
Is it possible that I am one of the first, in a long line of people, who is able to go after my creative gifts? And be seen expressing them?
I think of my Great Great Oma, who’s name I don’t know, lost in train bombings and WW2 re-locations. She was known to be a very gifted clairvoyant, her myth gifted down through the generations. Was she safe to be seen as this, living in a German colony in then Yugoslavia? I wonder, but I expect the answer is no.
How many of my grandfathers had to work themselves to the bone, putting aside silly dreams. How many of my grandmothers had to turn off their creative gifts in order to put food on the table, tend to the babies, and do their “domestic duties.”
There are also the stories of the noble blood on my mothers side. My great grandfather born to a noble woman out of wedlock, rejected and forgotten by him. At 18 he went to find his mother. She slammed the door in his face saying he was not her child. Another ache of being seen, rejected, and abandoned in the family.
An interesting note, for the astrology souls, is that I have Mercury, Venus, the Sun, Part of Fortune, and more in the 12th house. In the amazing book ‘The Twelfth House: The Hidden Power in the Horoscope’ by Karen Hamaker she speaks about placements in the 12th house as ancestral patterns rejected in the family. Reading her words felt deeply confirming for me. Yes, my ancestors had repressed these things. Their voice (Mercury), their artistic talents (Venus), their identities (Sun), their joy (Part of Fortune), the list goes on. I’ll write more about this soon.
The fear of being seen:
Like I said, being seen became dangerous. For most of us it is.
Being our true authentic self often means challenging the status quo, living outside of the expectations of our families, peers, and loved ones. This creates immediate tension, and a story that if we’re our true selves, we’ll be abandoned. We won’t belong. How deeply heart breaking to think I’ll be abandoned if I am fully embodied in my purest self? Damn.
This wound of being seen and rejected exists more for some than others and the birth chart shows why.
Dominant placements inside of Leo and the 5th house, as well as Aquarius and the 11th house tell a very important story to people working with wounds here.
(Yes, the houses, and the signs, and planets are separate entities and have their very own powerful expressions, but for today friends, indulge me as we speak out them together.)
The Leo/5th House (and sometimes Sun) Conundrum: (fun, I’ve never gotten to use that word in my writing)
Let’s begin with the Leo/5th house, and sometimes Sun story. Leo wants to shine, to be seen. Leo was to express the ego, to be full and wholly the self embodied from the heart. Leo wants to bare it’s pure essence for all to see and so those around a Leo would say “wow, look at you!” Not because it is important to be seen, but because the heart is such an expansive and illuminating force that it inspires others to be seen, witnessed, and to be wholly themselves. It’s a ripple.
The 5th house requests creative expression not for money, not in exchange for goods, but simply because you must. Because pleasure is important, because the creative spark of being human is deeply important, and should be used and celebrated.
And the sun… oh well the Sun. This is your vitality, and when you are fully embracing and embodying your sun? You feel alive, expressed, vital.
To be yourself, expressed fully, is how you create health and vitality in your body.
Have you ever experienced the complete crisis that happens from denying your creative gifts? I have.
The Aquarius/11th House (and sometimes Uranus) Conundrum:
On to Aquarius, the 11th house, and sometimes Uranus. Aquarius wants create great ripples of change for society. It sees the future, the possibility, and what’s to come and uses it’s influence in the community to push the boundaries of what is possible — for everyone involved. It is a service based energy. Oh, not in the way that Virgo and Pisces are. But it is. Aquarius wants to invent new ways to help society be better, and that is the role, the service to the community.
The 11th house is the house of networking, connections, and even financial gains. What happens here dictates part of your role in society. And to belong in society means, often, to fit into society. The edge walkers are the ones who disrupt society to create change, and are often the ones who feel the deepest wounds of belonging.
And Uranus, well, Uranus seeks to break free from anything that holds you stuck in old patterns. Uranus desires rebellion against the status quo.
So there’s a choice… break free and be yourself, break society free from old ways of being, or break free from being yourself so that you can belong.
Where things get sticky:
Often the cost of being yourself is not belonging. Great artists who walk the fringes of society often aren’t recognized until they are dead, and we humans remember that when we study “the greats”. We remember the cost of being ourselves. We remember who taught us that it wasn’t safe to be ourselves, and that the cost itself was to belong. We remember those exiled in the past for saying the earth revolves around the sun — such heresy. We remember those burned for practicing folk medicine and helping others, burned as witches. We remember those forgotten, laughed at, and judged for their work when they were too ahead of their times.
And so you shrink as you’re pulled from one side of this axis to the other, until you learn how to integrate both.
How can you so fully be yourself, and let your light shine without fear that you will be rejected — while simultaneously helping change the very things you see need shifting in the world around you? How can you be yourself, and belong? It seems as though the world really isn’t built for that, is it?
This is the game of balance we find in the zodiac.
And the price? It’ll probably be your ego.
And let me tell you, you’ll be humbled.
Let the light shine in — shot by my husband, Josh Bradford
What is the cost?
At this point, the question becomes, who doesn’t see me? Who am I afraid will see me? And what am I afraid will happen when they do?
We talked about the cost of being yourself, and the cost of belonging earlier, but there’s another cost I want you to consider.
The cost of a life un-lived.
I constantly sitting with the parts of myself I have waited too long to express, for fear of the trolls on the internet, or the judgement of people who never really understood me or matter to begin with.
What is the cost of you hiding your art, your work, your creativity?
What is the cost to the world? To all the people who need your work and will never get to feel its impact?
What is the cost to your soul? The aching part of you that has something to say, make, do, express?
What is the cost?
No one is going to come and force you to shine your light and let yourself be seen. No one is going to come and save you from your fears. No one is going to walk you through the dark underworld of your own fears and shadows. Only you can do that.
And only you can decide if the cost of your work un-expressed is worth it. Only you can decide if hiding in the shadows feels better than risking it all.
And let me tell you… though the risks create aches, and scars, and pulls at the seams of your consciousness — they have always, always, been worth it for me.
So, how do you stop caring?
Picking the right people in your life:
If you’re anything like me, you grew up exposed, witnessed, and rejected by family, friends, and the world, and yet maybe you had heavy expectations thrust upon you, as I did. Or maybe you never felt recognized, seen, celebrated. Maybe you’ve always felt like you’re second best, the runner up. Maybe this was with the people around you, maybe not. But taking full account of the people you surround yourself with now is key when it comes to letting yourself shine. If you feel like you have to shrink around the people in your life, the question is why?
My Dad’s wife used to scoff and roll her eyes at me when I expressed anything I wanted to be “when I grew up”. In fact, it was only 5 years ago she called me a Witch (in the bad way) on a FaceTime call, amongst other things, and got cut from my life. I was tired of being treated like a second class citizen, and I was definitely tired wondering what she would see when I finally blazed my radiant light.
I’m not saying you need to cut people out of your life, but you do need to evaluate them if you feel at all like you have to shrink around them. It’s time to surround yourself with people who get you, and let you just be you. People who let you express yourself, people who celebrate your creative efforts, and cheer you own as you start shining.
When I let go of the gossiping judgemental friends I had surrounded myself with in my first nodal return I finally felt free. Something came online for me. It was the most alive I had ever felt in my life, even in the midst of the deepest depression I had ever known. In fact, it was part of what healed my severe depression at the time. Previous to breaking free I had been in therapy for intense suicidal thoughts. When I freed myself and starting embracing who I really was, and found people who loved and celebrated me, everything changed. The people I found in those years are still my best friends in the entire world, 18 years later.
Letting of the need for external validation and the fear of judgement:
This one won’t be easy, trust me, but you’ve got to get really good at not caring what people think or say about you.
When I first start making music back in 2014 a friend at the time told me “you’ve got to grow Rhino skin in this industry”, so I did. And let me tell you… it still hurt being rejected by producers. It still hurt being told a song I wrote was shit (and it was shit, honestly.) It still hurt feeling second best. But my fear of external validation zapped my creative efforts and eventually I stopped making music entirely, until recently. I let all the voices of judgement crush me. Funny thing is, in a see of celebration, I only hear the very small pond of judgement.
Let yourself be shit. Let your messy art go into the world and be okay with people hating it. Write shitty pieces. Write absolute garbage and still let it be seen. And be okay with what they say. This is the only way to grow and get better. And I bet you those shitty pieces are way better than you think they, are I bet someone needed to find them.
Stop letting the fear of what people will say get in the way of doing what your soul is aching to do. Just do it. And let them be wrong about you. Let them hate you. Let them judge you. That’s theirs to hold, not yours.
Recognizing and owning your role in the collective:
If you feel you came here to something important in the world, then you did. It’s as simple as that. And doing something important doesn’t mean you need to have 10821929187 followers, or be on TV. You don’t need a massive following to create ripples of change. But if that ache lives within you… the one I recognize all too well that says “I’ve got an important mission to help this crazy world,” well, then I trust you.
And if so, who are you to hide? What part of your soul contract are you learning through your visibility would? Are you betraying your art by hiding?
Listen… not everyone needs to be seen to create. But I’m speaking to those who know they want to have an impact, and visibility is part of that experience.
It’s time to recognize what you came here to do, integrate the shadow, and start doing it. Bit by bit, small step by small step, being seen and shining your light because you must. Because your soul is screaming for it.
Recognize it’s going to hurt, and do it anyway:
I love to remember when someone first told me the phrase ‘In life you have to pick the shit sandwich you want to eat.” Aka, everything has shitty things. The life you’re living now? The one where you’re too afraid to be seen or go after your dreams? I bet it has some shit. And the one you desire, where you’re stepping full into your creative light? Yep, it’s also gonna have shit. So which shit would you rather experience? Personally, I choose the shit that is also aligned with me being most authentically myself, even when it sucks. Even when its laced in rejection and processing all my damn shadows. Even when I have to process every single visibility wound in my psyche to launch something new, or put my work into the world (and trust me, I do.)
It’s going to hurt. Do it anyway.
What’s does life look like when we let go?
I want you to imagine for a moment a life where you’re not concerned about what others say about you, you just express yourself fully. Imagine there is no threat of not belonging, no threat of your expression being rejected. It’s just you and the creations you so desire to birth into this world. What would that feel like? I imagine, personally, it feels like freedom. The freedom to be fully embodied as myself. I’ve felt it many times, and it feels like pure freedom.
You would be free to create all you desire. Free to be your true self. Free to live fully expressed, no longer tucking parts of yourself aside ‘for later.’
As I mentioned earlier, the Sun in astrology is linked to your vital life force. In medical astrology, when we live our sun sign, our health expresses better, our body functions more optimally, and we are full of energy. I like to think about it like the fuel in your tank. When your Sun is expressed, there is enough fuel in your tank to feel alive, to get to where you want to go. When we deny the Sun? We suffer. Trust me, I know. You probably know and maybe haven’t fully realized it.Leo and the 5th house, ruled by the Sun, helps us understand more of this story. Your birth chart can help you understand where you need to express, how you desire to express, how important it is that you do — and what happens when you don’t.
If being fully yourself feels dangerous, it’s likely your vitality is suffering in some way, because this energy is play, pleasure, and it’s life force. I think of the many ways we shut off when we don’t want to be perceived. Often, I’ve found, it’s linked to every area of our live. Our sex life shuts off, our art shuts off, our hobbies shut off, we disconnect from the pleasure of food, play, laughter, joy. We become shells of ourselves. We need to express. We as humans are meant to express.
But when we find that inner light again, and start to shine, we become more free. We become magnetic naturally. We glow.
Fully embodied people are like shining stars in a room. No matter how “traditionally beautiful,” they glow. I know you’ve seen them, felt their presence. It isn’t loud, it’s a pure presence of being fully embodied, and I think we all crave it. To feel so very free inside ourselves, fully embracing who we are, and letting the world see it.
Shadow Work: So what now?
Ask yourself some important questions to get to the heart of this story.
What is the earliest memory I have of feeling unsafe, ashamed, or rejected for being seen or expressing myself?
If I were fully seen, what am I actually afraid would happen?
What part of me already knows who I am and what I’m here to share… but I haven’t fully claimed yet?
What is it costing me to keep hiding my voice, my art, and my truth?
I’m curious… What’s something you KNOW you’re meant to share… but haven’t yet? and why do you think that is?
Ps, This is exactly why I created Unveiled: For the artist, the creator, the writer, the intuitive – the one who is done shrinking her fire to keep others comfortable.The soul who has always known they have something powerful to birth into this world, and it’s time to finally release the fear of being seen and step fully into the light.
Only 6 spots available.
The doors close May 18th, 2026.
Listen to the Podcast for more on this topic:
Read the Wounds of the Zodiac Connected to this Piece:
[The Wounds of the Zodiac] Leo, The 5th House, & The Sun: The Wound of Visibility
[The Wounds of the Zodiac] The Creativity Wound: Leo, The Sun & the 5th House
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Year Ahead Reading: In this session, you’ll explore the major transits and energetic portals you’re moving through in 2026, with a clear focus on why they’re happening now. This reading isn’t about predicting your future, instead it’s about revealing the karmic contracts and the doorways opening when you become a co-creator with the cosmos. You’ll leave with clarity on where you are meant to break free and how to move through this year with self-trust.
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