A love Note on Leo Karma
“The problem is you’ve been trying to be everyone but yourself.”
I’ve been inward for the last two years. Digesting, dissecting, and dismembering my emotions, patterns, and choices. I’ve been separating what is mine from what is not. As my body screams asking me to understand pieces of the puzzle of the karma I am untangling, I am listening intently. The other day I heard from within “the problem is you’ve been trying to be everyone but yourself.” Wow. That one hurt. Hadn't I be trying to be my authentic self all thing time? I swear I was doing my best.
I sat with those words.
It’s not only that I’ve been trying to be everyone but myself, but I’ve been actively trying to perform for a world that is not watching. As a dear friend once said to me lovingly, “no one cares about you.”
This might sound like a gut punch when you first read the words. She reminded me that she didn’t mean the people who love me and support me don’t care about me. What she meant was no one is out there watching me, waiting for me to fail. I realized she was right. As I buzz around my own life, I am stressed about my body, my health, my grief, my marriage, my relationships, my work… I am not thinking about anyone's failures or successes. I am simply thinking about how I can get through today with the most ease.
Somewhere along the way I realized I was living as if everyone was out there – watching me, judging, measuring my worth with their yard sticks. I had been living this way for so long I began to question if what I was creating was for me or for some invisible audience ready to ridicule my every move. “No one cares” was the ultimate permission slip to start really being me.
Leo Karma:
Within the karmic imprint of the Leo soul is a place that feels like a black hole of desire to be seen, to be special, to be recognized for the inner greatness that is innate to the soul. Yet, the Leo experiences countless moments of rejection, of feeling second best, and the continuous struggle to seek external approval. Most people working with the karma of Leo hate to admit that there is something within that feels entitled, special, important. This isn't wrong... in fact, it's integral to their work in alchemizing this wound. And yet when operating in the shadow of this wound that specialness becomes tyrannical, vain, and turns into ego inflation. It's hard to come face to face with the fact that we are self focused individuals and sometimes what we claim as service is actually so we're seen, celebrated, and made to feel important.
This plays out in many ways depending on the chart, and not everyone will carry this wound.
For some the black hole feels like the never ending need to be reminded that you are enough because there is something inherent within the soul that feels you are not enough, and without the external validation you would be left empty.
There is an external seeking that goes beyond most other signs, even Capricorn or Libra. Of course the person carrying this wound is deeply important, deeply loved, often much more celebrated than they are able to see but this work is needed for them to expand beyond the limits of belief that anyone can make them worthy.
This wound carries the frequency of the heart, and comes back to authentic alignment with the energy of creation. When you live authentically and from the heart the gift is life force and solar vital energy. When you hide your light, vitality suffers.
This constant need for approval may have you leaning so heavily on what others think of what you’re doing that you begin to follow a path that is not your own.
In constantly seeking the praise, the adoration, and the compliments of others you may find yourself journeying down a path toward fulfilling your ego, your pride, and your vanity, rather than your true path and purpose. This will always leave you feeling completely unfulfilled, frustrated, and empty. As the Leo Wound must learn that no external source can fill their need to feel adored, that love, adoration, and approval must come from within you.
Any attention is better than no attention
At some point you began to learn that the only way to be seen as special in life was to get the approval of others. The world programmed you to believe that if you got the gold star, you were good. If you didn’t? Then you were worthless, not as special as those who were receiving the praise. Naturally, we start to associate external approval with our worth and when it doesn’t come we begin to believe who we really are, the authentic self, is not worth being.
We start to perform. We chose a role that seems to be getting approval, or disapproval, so that we can start to receive some attention.
Any attention is better than none, right? Like my rebellious teenage goth phase where I painted my lips black and listened to death metal in order to get some sort of attention from an authority figure. Or my punk rock phase where I wore a belt with bullets on it to school and got suspended for refusing to take it off. I didn’t care that I was getting negative attention, I just wanted to know that I was recognized for something. Even in these moments I was trying to be anything but myself. I had convinced myself that this was my authentic self finding its greatest expression through my black clothes and heavy makeup, but it was really just another mask I put on so that no one could get to the gold within me.
When we’re working with Leo karma we become the masks we wear. It feels safer to become the mask then to believe that anyone could ever love what exists underneath it. There is a deep seated fear that if “they” see the real you they will reject you. And to have the real you rejected? That’s more than you could stand. The mask becomes protection, the role becomes the protector, and all the while your authentic self and creative urges begin to whither from within, stagnating your life force. Haven’t you noticed how people who shut down their dreams seem to have their life force drained out of them?
Creative Expression is Currency for Vitality
Something happens when we turn our creativity off… we become shells of ourselves. Whether we force our power into new containers, trying to express through this performance we have turned our lives into. Or whether we have shrunk and tucked ourselves away where they can’t judge, ridicule, or hate what is behind the mask. The body grows hard, the heart beats a little different, and the light goes out in our lives.
I know you know people like this. Somewhere along the way they stopped playing, dreaming, shining. They lost their courage.
Creativity and Courage is the currency for vitality. To use the creative spark you were gifted when you incarnated to create something meaningful, even just to you, in this work helps turn the light and life force back on within you.
Did you know that the sun rules your vital life force in astrology? And Leo being ruled by the sun can show you where you may have accidentally or intentionally turned this inner light off. There is somewhere in your chart ruled by Leo (check the house ruled by Leo, your 5th house, and your sun, but please have an astrologer help you.) where you can reclaim this inner light, but not without going into the shadow.
You must see where you started living someone else’s story.
You must witness where you’ve been trying to be everyone but yourself.
You must honour the mask you’ve been wearing and see the performance you’ve been playing out in its full truth.
This is the only way, because within that truth is the real you, hiding underneath the layers of varnish you’ve been painting yourself with for years in the name of protecting yourself.
The way out of this darkness is through the creative process that you turned off – and to start you’re going to need so much damn courage. There is something within you desiring to be expressed. Maybe art, writing, singing, hosting fabulous dinners for friends, working in film or photography… the list goes on. And whatever this desire is, you’ve got to let go of the desire to have anyone approve of it. You’ve got to let it be something you do for you. If success comes out of it? Great. But the act itself must be inherently yours. As Rick Ruben says in The Creative Act, “forget the audience”, you’ve got to do it for you.
When the Leo Wound Heals:
By seeing the shadow of this wound you begin to witness yourself. You can now invite yourself into the light. Yes, your shadow working karmic astrologer will always, always guide you back into the light (you know I have like 126126281 Leo placements right?)
By witnessing the truth, starting to remove the mask, and allowing your authentic self to start creating from that heart led space, you automatically start to come back on line. You know those people who glow? The ones who radiate sunshine and seem to be so alive in all they do? They live here. They are deeply involved in the beautiful work of creating art out of life day in, and day out.
You become naturally generous, warm, playful, and funny. This is the gift of healing the Leo wound. The best part? It’s no longer a performance, and it’s no longer about getting anyone to approve of you. This is heart led work at its finest.
I’m not saying it will be easy, and I’m not saying you won't experience moments where you want to hide again but it will be deeply worth it. Like the sun, your solar energy will come back to life, your confidence will rise, and you’ll start to fall back in love with life. After all Leo is all about play, passion, pleasure, creation and fun.
As your passion turns back on, so it ripples into the world helping them heal their own Leo Wounds.
If you believe you’re working with Leo Karma in this life, here’s what to watch out for. (Unsure? Come study Karmic Astrology with me)
The Pitfalls of Leo Karma:
The need to be liked, no matter the role you have to adopt
The need to lead, no matter the cost
The need to be seen/the fear of being seen
The need for approval or validation, aka, any attention is good attention
The need to be great or special in someway
Laziness and the belief that everything should be handed to you
All ending up in power dominance, or shrinking from the limelight. Not everyone working with Leo karma will be the typical pop astrology view of Leo as the drama queen, too much, loud, over confident, etc.
You need to release:
Any unhealthy need for approval
Vanity or pride that has been limiting you from shining at your authentic self
Areas you’ve forgotten to be playful and fun
Shrinking yourself to “fit”
Resisting becoming the main character in your own life
The mask you wear, the performance keeping you share
Any External validation supporting your worth
To be fulfilled you must:
Leading from the heart/creating from the heart
Living authentically
Learning to play and create
Living a life of pleasure
Becoming the creative
Your Shadow Work Questions:
1. Where in my life am I still performing for approval instead of living in my truth?
Let this uncover the roles you’ve taken on, the masks you wear, and the spaces where you shrink or overcompensate to be liked or validated.
2. What part of me do I believe is "too much" to be loved or accepted as I truly am?
This gets to the core of the Leo wound, the fear that the real you is unworthy unless polished, pleasing, or praised.
3. What creative desires or dreams have I abandoned out of fear of judgement or failure?
Trace back to the moment you dimmed your light, gave up the dream, or decided it wasn’t safe to be fully seen.
4. Who would I be if no one was watching?
If no one had expectations, opinions, or criticisms what would you create, wear, say, do… and who would you become?
